Have you ever stepped on a landmine?
Navigating the Negotiation Minefield: The "Minesweeper" Approach
Negotiations are rarely straightforward. We go in prepared, facts in hand, ready to discuss terms. But what happens when the other party throws a curveball that feels more like a landmine? I recently experienced this firsthand, and it perfectly illustrated a powerful negotiation strategy: the "Minesweeper" technique.
The Red Flag: "That's Not Fair!"
I was preparing for a tough negotiation with a key client. My unenviable task: presenting significant cost overruns and scheduled delays. I had done my homework – facts, figures, all in order – confident I could navigate the conversation.
But his immediate response cut through my preparation: "That's not fair!"
For me, hearing "that's not fair" in a negotiation is an instant red flag. It’s an ambiguous, subjective statement. What one person considers fair, another might see as completely unreasonable. Many people's instinct is to tiptoe around such a comment, hoping it dissipates, or worse, to ignore it entirely. But, as I've learned, ignoring a potential landmine is a surefire way to step on it later.
Introducing the "Minesweeper"
This brings me to the "Minesweeper" technique, a core strategy we teach in our negotiation workshops. It’s about developing a state of genuine curiosity and asking questions to uncover the other party's true position and underlying concerns. It blends empathy with tactical awareness.
Instead of shying away from that red flag, I leaned in. My focus was on controlling my tone, ensuring my voice was low, calm, and non-confrontational. Then, I asked the simple, yet powerful question: "What would be fair to you?"
Tone is Everything
The delivery here is paramount. Imagine responding defensively: "Why isn't it fair?!" That immediately escalates the situation from a potential collaboration into a confrontation. It becomes an emotional battle, not a productive discussion. My mindset when asking "What would be fair?" was already one of active listening; I was mentally taking notes, genuinely wanting to hear his answer. I believed if he articulated it, we'd at least have something tangible to discuss and negotiate.
The Surprising Discovery
What happened next truly surprised me. He didn't have an answer. He couldn't provide a specific number, a different budget, or an alternative schedule. Instead, he simply started venting about the project's history.
In that moment, I realized something crucial: he didn't have a "Plan B." His "that's not fair" was less about a concrete alternative and more about an emotional need to be heard, to be respected as the client, and to express his frustration.
I gave him that space. I simply listened. Over the next 10-15 minutes, we talked through next steps, focusing on how to bring the project back on track. Within 24 hours, he signed the contract.
Key Takeaways for Leaders:
Don't Avoid Red Flags: Just because you recognize a potential landmine in a negotiation, don't avoid it or tiptoe around it. These issues will inevitably surface, and often with greater force later on.
Dig Up the Landmine: Instead of fearing it, confront it with curiosity. Ask open-ended questions like "What would be fair to you?" This invites the other party to articulate their true position, even if it's just an emotional one.
Control Your Tone: Your delivery matters more than your words. Maintain a calm, empathetic, and non-antagonistic demeanor. This prevents escalation and keeps the conversation collaborative.
Listen Beyond the Words: Sometimes, "that's not fair" isn't about numbers, but about emotions – a desire to be heard, respected, or acknowledged. Giving that space can be the key to moving forward.
The Minesweeper technique isn't about being aggressive; it's about being strategically empathetic. It's about finding the hidden obstacles before they blow up your deal or your relationship. Give this approach a shot in your next tough negotiation and let me know how it goes in the comments below!
