From Scripts to Principles: Why Most Negotiation Tactics Fail
Do Negotiation Scripts Really Work?
If you’ve ever spent hours preparing for a negotiation, carefully scripting your questions, tactics, and strategies—only to watch the actual conversation go off-script—you’re not alone.
It’s a common experience. The other side says something unexpected. The discussion takes a new direction. Suddenly, you’re stressed, scrambling to get back to your script, and losing connection with the person in front of you.
That stress creates hesitation. Hesitation breaks trust. And when trust is gone, so is the deal.
The Problem with Negotiation Tactics
Preparation is valuable. But an overreliance on scripted tactics usually backfires. Real conversations aren’t predictable, and clinging to a fixed plan often makes you rigid and disconnected.
Instead of building trust and moving toward agreement, you end up forcing the interaction. That’s where most negotiations fail.
The Power of Principles Over Tactics
What changed my own negotiation style—and what I now teach my clients—is simple:
👉 Stop fixating on tactics. Start grounding yourself in principles.
The two most powerful principles?
Curiosity: Staying genuinely interested in the other person’s perspective.
Empathy: Listening deeply to understand what matters most to them.
When you focus on these principles, you don’t need to remember a perfect script. You can stay present, adaptive, and connected in the moment.
A Story of Principles in Action
Years ago, one of my students from an assault prevention workshop called me with an incredible story.
She had been traveling in Italy when a group of men began following her on a beach. Their behavior escalated quickly, surrounding her and threatening her safety.
In that terrifying moment, she didn’t remember a specific “move” or detailed technique. But she did remember the principles we had discussed:
The closer someone is, the more options you have.
Within arm’s reach, the hand is quicker than the eye.
Armed with those principles, she acted decisively—using her voice, her presence, and one well-timed move to stop the threat and escape safely.
It was a powerful reminder: principles create clarity under pressure.
What This Means for Your Negotiations
Of course, negotiating a deal, a contract, or a raise isn’t nearly as frightening as a confrontation on a dark street. But the same lesson applies.
If you rely solely on scripts or memorized tactics, you risk freezing when reality doesn’t match your preparation.
When you rely on principles—curiosity, empathy, adaptability—you gain the freedom to respond naturally and strategically in the moment. That’s where the best deals happen.
Key Takeaways
Scripts are helpful for preparation, not execution.
Tactics are tools, not crutches.
Principles—curiosity, empathy, adaptability—are what create successful outcomes.
Ready to Negotiate with Confidence?
At Enter the Leader, I help entrepreneurs, leaders, and professionals build negotiation strategies that work in the real world.
If you’re tired of memorizing scripts that fall apart in the moment, let’s work together to ground your approach in principles that drive results.
👉 Connect with me here to start building your negotiation edge.
